Living in the Moment…or Not

Travel Twenties

Since I’m eating about the only things left in my fridge and my meals are boring this week, I thought I’d write about a twenties issue that I’m still struggling with: finding a balance between living in the moment and being responsible in preparation for the future. I’ve never really understood the phrase ‘live in the moment’ and to be honest, I get really annoyed when people say it. If I ‘lived in the moment’ on any given day, I’d call in sick to work, eat cake for all three meals, drop $100 bucks on clothing and beer, and stay up late dancing. A couple of days of living in the moment and I would have probably quit my job and spent my savings on a cruise around the world. So how do you enjoy each moment when so many moments are taken up by making plans for the future? After-all, much of our lives are spent at school or work, both of which are ultimately supposed to help us make a living so we can be comfortable in the future.

I’ve always been very future-oriented and I think working full-time has made my future focus even worse. Now, I’m forced to think about each week in advance because if I don’t plan meals, anticipate breaks in my schedule for cooking, exercise, cleaning, and fun, or communicate with Matt about an upcoming week, then it would be impossible to keep up with all the things I have to do. At the same time, I feel like my life has lost all spontaneity because everything is always planned to a T. I’m on break this week, and I should be using these two days at home to explore a local museum or go see a movie, but instead, I’m thinking about all the things I could get accomplished: updating my resume [yet again], writing my next case study, or finally cleaning out my junk-filled bookshelves. I just want to knock things off of my to-do list so my real life can begin, but aren’t I already in my real life?  I guess this goes back to the weird feeling I have that I’m stuck in some kind of in-between phase. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this feeling goes away when I start working next year.

I think the real reason I hate the living in the moment phrase is because I know that it doesn’t mean indulging in life’s pleasures; it just means appreciating each moment, even though many of those moments will be filled with annoying tasks that have to be done to prepare for the future. My Dad sent me this quote a few weeks ago and it pretty much sums up my realizations about life’s moments.

“For a long time it seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, a debt to be paid. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. This perspective has helped me to see there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way. So treasure every moment you have and remember that time waits for no one.”

-Alfred D’Souza

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Tomorrow, I’ll be packing before I hop on the plane to San Fran. Vacations are one time when I have no trouble completely suspending all thoughts of the future and savoring every moment (isn’t that the point of them?), so I’ll be trying to do that as much as possible over these next few days. But, the future-oriented person in me wants to invest in my readers for the future, so I’ll be posting as well:) And, stay tuned for a fun guest post on Wednesday that might help you free up more moments in your life.

k bye for now.

 

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  • Jessica
    February 21, 2011 at 10:26 pm

    This was great. I feel like this more days than not, especially being at a job I’m not crazy about….it’s always planning and plotting for the future. Though I try to enjoy the present. 🙂

  • Silvia @ skinny jeans food
    February 21, 2011 at 10:43 pm

    Trying to always ‘be done’ with things before being ready to enjoy life I also realized at some point that life is more like a big construction site. And.. that it is ok to drop the tools, go home in the evening or have a beer or take a break and enjoy myself. The work will still be there the next day. And it will never really be ‘done’.

  • Miranda
    February 22, 2011 at 1:52 am

    In the famous words of John Lennon, ‘time you enjoy wasting, was not wasted’! Very true I think. I have been working full time for two years now and I schedule in my fun times. I look at it as something that needs to be planned along with work, exercise, cleaning. Then if it’s scheduled, it doesn’t matter if you change your plans or do something different, because you’d planned to be having fun anyway 🙂 I know it’s kind of contrary to the point of being spontaneous, but fun is fun, right? I enjoy my day to day life a lot, but I also enjoy looking forward to all my fun plans for the future (like for example, a trip to Rarotonga in August, but buying a house in the next couple of years). You can’t enjoy those awesome long-term life goals if you haven’t planned to make them happen!
    Sometimes, a girl just needs to lie on the couch reading a good book. Even if you need to plan that to make it happen.
    Good luck finding your balance, and have an awesome holiday! I loved San Francisco when I went! 🙂

    • Mom
      February 22, 2011 at 6:20 am

      Love the Lennon quote. I’ve never heard it before.

  • Yena
    February 22, 2011 at 1:58 am

    What a great post, Laura. This really spoke true to me. As a college student, I feel like I’m always “on the go.” But I’ve also realized the importance of finding the right balance…and indulging in life’s little treasures once in a while!

    Have fun in San Fran – jealous!

  • Carla @ Will Run for Health
    February 22, 2011 at 3:26 am

    I totally get that feeling of frustration with the idea of “living in the moment”. I remember it seeming like people just didn’t get it when they would tell me that as a grad student. I think that since finishing grad school and now that I’m transitioning into a new job, staying in the moment is about staying aware of how YOU are feeling, the emotions you are experiencing, etc. Hope you enjoy your (well deserved!) vacation!

  • Emily G
    February 22, 2011 at 8:10 am

    Being that I am in my early twenties living in NYC after graduating college and now with a full-time job and life to live, this post beyond resonated with me. This is a daily (more like moment-to-moment) struggle I have to focus on the future, do my job well, and keep everything planned so I can get it all done, while still taking time to breath, enjoy, and take part in the less planned parts of life. It’s hard, I’m not spontaneous either, but I think it’s great that you are conscious of it and working towards finding a balance. I’m trying too haha.

  • Kath
    February 22, 2011 at 8:32 am

    Love this post and the quote from CAY!

    I think one of the keys to living in the moment is to be so organized that you don’t have to think about all the adult stuff. That’s my goal! If you organize those shelves ONCE (and keep them organized) then they’ll never take up time in your brain again. Sure there are some things that need regular doing (like meal planning) but you can even simplify that. Once you figure out systems that work for you, then you can spend less time planning your life and more time doing.

  • Nicole
    February 22, 2011 at 10:40 am

    I REALLY love that quote your father sent you. 🙂

    I can relate to you, Laura, and I’ll tell you the only conclusion I’ve come to for myself. I’m still in my medical residency (only 4 more months left!), and while this is very much “real life” for me, I still don’t have as much control over it as I’d like to. When I’m finally finished with this, I can have more say over my hours and I can set boundaries at work that are a bit more strict, and I’m hoping (!!!) that will take care of this chaotic feeling I have most days. Perhaps when you’re done with your internship you can have that same control and make a schedule that will help you live a fuller life outside of work. 🙂

    Thanks for sharing this insightful post!

  • Michelle
    February 22, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    I completely understand where you’re coming from! I too am about to finish up my Masters in May in School Counseling and I also intern at a school. I have that same feeling of in-between all the time! It’s weird to know that your entire week is planned out for you to a T before it even starts…it’s exhausting! I’m a very future oriented person myself, but I find myself asking the same questions…what SHOULD I be doing versue what I WANT to be doing at any given moment. I’m hoping that once school is over, I’ll find that balance a little better 🙂

  • Kathy @ newlywedindc
    February 22, 2011 at 1:21 pm

    Great post; I know what you mean about trying to check off all your to-do items so that you can start your real life. I’m only 6 months into my 30s, but I can tell you that I don’t think that’s a 20-something thing, but a lifelong thing. I think it’s all about finding a balance day to day, getting done what you have to do and what you want to do, and finding joy in the little things throughout your day that make life worth living.

  • Claire
    February 22, 2011 at 7:44 pm

    Here’s a quotation from The Republic of Love, a novel by the Canadian author Carol Shields about routine: “Routine is liberating. It makes you feel in control. A paradox, isn’t it? You think your routines are controlling you, but in fact you’re using the routines to give you power.”

  • Vanessa V
    February 22, 2011 at 9:17 pm

    As a college student, I always find myself counting the days until my next vacation, or when my finals will be over. Sometimes I have to step back and try to enjoy each day on the journey instead of just the end result. I don’t want to look back on my college years and just see them as ‘putting in time.’

  • Monica
    February 23, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    I can relate too! I feel like I’m constantly waiting for my “real” life to begin. Im sure being in school definitely has something to do with this tendency.

  • Megan
    February 23, 2011 at 8:44 pm

    I’ve been reading your blog for awhile now (via Kath’s) but never commented.

    I really liked your post today. I DO think it’s very important to live in the moment…not in a irresponsible way, but in a enjoy all the moments that you do have. For me, this is especially SO true as a parent. I need to live in the moment and play with my kids…not think about the laundry that needs done, the dishes that needs washed, the trash that needs taken out, etc.

    Hope your vacation is FAB!

  • bakebooks
    February 23, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    Wow. I can so relate to this. This whole “living in the moment” overwhelms me. Exactly what you said – I would quit my job in a heart-beat…and then be left out on the streets…not so smart.

    It’s hard because the whole concept I think is too “romanticized” at times and real life responsibilities doesn’t make it realistic…

    • Laura
      March 1, 2011 at 10:11 am

      I def. agree that the concept is way tooo romanticized:)